Nails…and Product Plugs (Day 143)

Pants: Wal Mart  Rainboots: Target  Cardigan: Target  Top: F21 Bag: Kate Spade Necklace: Sammoon    Ring & Bracelet: *James Avery

It rained today, I promise.  I have not hopped on the Hunter rain boot train, but maybe next year I’ll e-Bay some.

I need one moment of your time to gush about my pants.  Remember that one post where I was shocked by how much I loved Wal Mart’s skirts?  Well, soon after that I discovered these, er, “jeggings.”  They’re super soft and made to look like denim (pajama jeans anyone?)  I started with grey, went back for red, then yellow, then coral, then black and finally, white.  Yes, you read that correctly.  I have these little leg huggers in six different colors.  I’m not entirely confident about an exposed bum area in these, as the material is pretty thin, but I treat them like regular leggings and wear a longer top.  The good news for you?  I may have happened to notice that they still carry them.  I had to walk by the mint and fuchsia colors by sheer willpower.  They are called “Faded Glory Knit Color Jeggings” and under $10. Getcha some.

I’m not sure if nails count as accessories, but I’m going with it.  So.  Like many girly girls, I like me some nail polish.  But I’m not a huge fan of maintenance.  I have yet to find a polish that doesn’t chip after two days, max.  And those nail polish strips that you see everywhere?  No.  There’s a good slight chance that I’m completely incompetent, but I could not get them to stay adhered to my nail.  Every now and then I get solar nails at the salon, but I usually can’t justify the expense after one or two fills, not to mention the damaged remains once they’re removed.

I received a free sample of glue-less, press-on nails in the mail (I say free, but I’m sure I paid for them in some sneaky way) and I was immediately skeptical.  Press on nails?  Please, that’s just asking to have one pop off into someone’s salad (which may or may not have happened).

However, not one to throw something away, I decided to give them a whirl.  Instead of using glue, which I can tell you from experience does not last, they have an adhesive on the back. The package claimed that they could last “up to a week.”  Folks, you are looking at one week and counting:

These babies aren’t budging.  Of course you can’t shower, type, wash dishes or really do anything that requires the use of your hands, but wow, don’t they look great?  I am kidding.  I type.  Obviously.

I got so excited, I went to Wal Mart (what up Wallie?) and purchased these nails in three other shades (I thought $4.97 a package was pretty reasonable).  While I was snatching them up like $100 bills, this little lady stopped me to ask which kind of fake nails I would recommend, to which I spent a good 10 minutes selling her on these (Ya know, these product reviews/plugs I put in…why am I not getting credit for this?  Hello?)

The best part?  You can have salon nails without paying someone $35 + to make fun of you in a foreign language.  Folks, I call that a win.

*Phen did buy me a diamond ring when we got engaged, but I’m not very traditional about those kinds of things and picked out a right hand ring in the shape of a flower.  It would require a custom wedding band and one of the diamonds started to come loose after about a year.  I asked him if I could just have a plain wedding band instead and I quite like it.  He made me a charm bracelet last year which I much prefer over a ring (the little heart reads “Phen heart Spocky, which is what he calls me…due to an unfortunate hair incident when we were first married, and the name stuck).  Turns out diamonds aren’t this girl’s best friend.

If I Only Had a Brain (Day 142)

Phen had better things to do than take my picture today (like helping with tornado relief) and I’m feeling too lazy to dig for my phone connector thingy to load a picture from my clothing app, so I’ll just tell you.  Today I wore…pants and a shirt.  We good?

I just want to say, this summer class is probably going to kill me.  And if I die, I would really appreciate it if all of you could gather the $900+ to fund these shoes for me. Maybe by then they’ll have a knock off version of these, and I’m ok with that. I would like a closed casket from the knees up (I hate my knees, so my dying wish is that they not be the last thing people see), with the only exposure being my feet…wearing these beauties.  I’d also like Norman Greenbaum’s “Spirit in the Sky” to play as I’m being carried out.  I’m not joking about this.  This is a very grave matter. *Ba dum pshh.*

I have an urge to vent about myself, so prepare yourself for a lengthy read.  Or, come back for a shorter post tomorrow (it’s going to be a deeply compelling post about nail polish).

Second class in on this master’s program and I am seriously questioning myself here.  I’m having horrible flashbacks of undergrad.  I recall feeling trapped and clueless and fearful of the future (as my graduation date got closer, I felt less prepared to be a dietician than when I started the program).  This class I’m taking now is an intense 7 week course.  My eyes nearly bugged out of my head when I saw the amount of reading materials.  Instead of doing two discussion posts a week, six are required.  A paper is due each week and on top of that…this is where it gets good…there is another section “for grad students only.”  We have additional papers, discussion posts, and readings.

Either my classmates are a lot better at faking than I am, or I am once again, in the wrong field.  While they’re getting twitterpaited over “the history of computing in the history of technology,” I’m all like, “What are you wearing?”

Does my head contain any useful brain cells?  Reminds me of what my dietetics professor once said to me, “I look at you and I think, ‘that’s a pretty girl, so put together,’ but then I wonder, ‘is there anything up there?’”  Why, yes.  I’ve been sitting here this whole time considering the health benefits of your odd pairing of converse sneakers and a pink button up.  That, and I was a little, shall we say, passive aggressive toward her.  I would stop by McDonald’s before her class, sit in the front row and haul out a sausage McGriddle and chocolate chip cookies while doodling on the grease-soaked paper sack as she lectured about “balance, variety and moderation.”  It did not go unnoticed.

In my defense, I went to her several times a semester (she was also my advisor) telling her that I was pretty sure dietetics was a bad choice.  She kept promising me that it would get easier and that I needed to stick with it.  And then my last semester happened and she looked at me and said, “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.”

On the plus side, keeping a GPA above a 3 point still had to at least show ingenuity on my part (or sympathy from my professors, I’m not sure which).  I may not have known what those H and C squiggles meant in organic chemistry (yes, hydrogen and carbon, but why), but I could memorize what it was supposed to look like for a test by pretending it was a fabric design.  Just think, I could be in a hospital right now, telling sick people what they should or shouldn’t eat by matching complimentary shades of food to their outfit.  Not pursuing dietetics any further saved lives, people.

I keep telling myself that being a librarian will be a good fit—it’s just the journey to get there that’s going to be a little painful.  However, looking at my classmates/future librarians, I am questioning my suitability. They have brains, I have cotton candy.  Why didn’t God make me blonde, chesty and giggly?  I could have used that to my advantage and gotten by on looks.  Or, here’s a better idea, why didn’t He just make me with a brain in the first place?  Okaaay, it’s not God’s fault I’m stupid.  I’m sure my interests and “skills” will have a purpose, someday.  Or, maybe my purpose is to be a test subject for a drug that produces brain cells.

Devastation (Day 141)

I definitely feel like it’s inappropriate for me to post about fashion today.  This is a really hard post to write.  The tornado yesterday hit Moore, which is about 15 minutes from where we live.  My good friend Megan (who has taken some of my pictures for this blog) lives in Moore, but thankfully her family and house are ok.  However, Phen’s close friend and coworker, was not so lucky. He and his wife were away on vacation when the tornado hit yesterday.  It was wonderful that they were safe, but they have three inside cats.  Like us, they don’t have children, so they consider their fur babies their kids.  When Phen and I saw on the news that their neighborhood got hit, it wasn’t even a question, we had to go.  That may seem ridiculous in light of the amount of devastation, but we would hope that someone cared enough and was able to find ours if it had happened to us.

We had to park about eight blocks away because of the debris and walk.  We had no idea what we’d find.  As we got closer, the damage became worse and worse.  People were wandering the streets, crying and hugging each other, and looking in shock at pieces of what once was their home and belongings, now reduced to a pile of debris.

Many of the houses we passed were leveled or barely standing, and we had a sinking feeling about what we would find.  Miraculously, their house was still standing, though it obviously took a hit.

Their garage had been demolished, part of their roof was gone and most of their windows were blown out.  Phen crawled in through a broken window to get in.  Of course there was glass everywhere.

We were so relieved that the house was together enough that we could go in.  The Cat Search was on.  We found two out of three hiding under their bed. They were clearly terrified, but they seemed to be ok. We tried to block the windows so they wouldn’t escape and we walked back to our car to get the crates.  When we came back, I found the last cat squeezed behind a chest they had in front of the window.   We were able to get them all into the crates surprisingly easily.  We were unable to get any calls out through all of this, which was incredibly frustrating.  As of that point, this couple had no idea what condition their house was in and we wanted to see if there was anything important we needed to grab to keep away from looters (a disgusting reality).  We couldn’t carry much since we had the three crates and had to walk so far, so we grabbed a locked box they had under the bed and called it good.

Disasters definitely bring out the best and worst in people.  There were people walking the streets, handing out snacks and bottled water asking if they could help, but you also saw people seizing the opportunity to steal things.  It was such a mixed combination of heart warming and heart wrenching at the same time.  People saw us with the pet carriers and assumed we were some kind of animal rescue group.  One lady said there was an injured dog trapped across the street.  Luckily a rescue worker passed us, and he was able to go in.  Police were checking the remains of the houses and spray painting “ok” on the debris once they determined that no one was trapped under the rubble.

Getting out of Moore posed to be quite a problem, as most of the roads were shut down and clogged with people trying to get through.  But, eventually we made it.

Once we got home and were able to listen to the news, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and seeing.  We just saw a tiny blip of the destruction, but there are countless areas just like it or worse.  And those schools and those children…I simply can not imagine.

Phen went over today to help them tarp the roof and board windows, but the challenge was getting through.  They were only allowing foot traffic in a lot of the areas, so it made carrying in supplies difficult.

Please keep these families in your thoughts and prayers.  I’ve seen a number of links and sites where people can donate.

Afternoon Wedding (Day 140)

Dress: Newport News (now Spiegal)  Shoes: Ross (Nina)  Bag: Charlotte Russe  Necklace: Rue 21 

What does one wear to an afternoon wedding, you ask?  Well, if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s “be comfortable.”  It was a Catholic ceremony, so I knew there would be a lot of sitting down and standing up–I didn’t want to be tugging and adjusting each time I did so.  You also need to wear a dress you can eat some cake in, you know what I’m saying?  And pick shoes with a comfortable heel height so you can get your groove thang on at the reception.  I’m pretty sure that I have never gotten said “groove thang on” in public.  This brings me to the “memory” portion of my post:

First of all, I’m the most boring, reserved person in a group of three or more, you do not want to be stuck at a table with me.  There is always one at my table who is convinced that they can get me on the dance floor, either with alcohol or by sheer physical force. There was an unfortunate incident at my cousin’s wedding a few years ago where the other bridesmaids (most of them former cheerleaders I might add) dragged me up there to perform a little number.  They promised all I had to do was wave my arms around and shimmy a little.  I stood there awkwardly for a few seconds, frozen in terror, before hiking up my dress and literally running off the stage in the middle of their dance.  And yes, there is photo evidence:

My husband, who is used to seeing me “cut loose” around the house, was sure he could persuade me to dance.  He literally carried me out on the dance floor and tried to get me to engage.  Nope.  Now when we’re at weddings he helps me out by quietly telling people that “no way, no how” will I get out there.  I’m about two steps from being a complete agoraphobic, and the thought of people watching me terrifies me to no end (I should probably see someone about that, but that would require leaving my closet and ice cream carton).

Who’s That Girl… (Day 137)

We all know (or should know by now) that Zooey Deschanel is one of my idols.  New Girl has wrapped up their second season, so I’d like to recap some of Jess’ (Deschanel) enviable looks (from both seasons).

Season 2 had a little more weird for me than even I necessarily care for, but Jess never failed to look adorable.  Side note, did you know there is actually a website called “What Would Zooey Deschanel Wear?” They take stills from New Girl or Deschanel’s public appearances and provide links to where you can buy her clothes (most often Kate Spade, ModCloth or Anthropologie). The girl has excellent taste, in my opinion  (too expensive for me, but cheap by Hollywood standards).

Moving on.  I wasn’t a fan of CeCe at first, but she grew on me in season 2, especially when she got a henna beard.

I guess I’m team Nick and Jess, but my FAVORITE boyfriend was Russel (Dermot Mulroney).  Sigh.

But things ended nicely with Nick and Jess in season 2

Oooo La La!

Final episode, Jess says to Nick, “Before you say no, don’t say no.”  And they get in her car and ride off.  Side note: Real Men wear their significant other’s purses.

Ready for Season 3!

Have a fantastic weekend.

Wild and Weird (Day 136)

Skirt: Thrifted  Shirt: Maurices  Sandals: Alloy  Bracelet: Target  Earrings: BCF

Hmm, pretty sure I wore this chambray shirt last Thursday.  Don’t judge.

Ah, accessories.  How I love and loathe thee.  They always work out so well in theory, (and on Polyvore), but not so much on my body.  Too many? Not enough? I can’t ever tell.  But today, I tried, just for you.  I brought out some weird.  Giraffes, hippos…what’s not to love?  If you haven’t worn a pair of pink hippo earrings at one point in your life, then folks, you haven’t lived.  Give me a sturdy hat, some hiking boots and I am ready to embark on an African Safari.  Don’t forget the binoculars, I want to see the baby elephants.  How’s that for accessories? I feel like I’m always fighting this side of my personality.  I want to wear weird all the time.  I want to dress as an apple on the first day of school.  I want to be clothed in denim from head to toe on Canada Day.  I want to wear a pumpkin print dress and a stem on my head when Starbucks releases their pumpkin spice lattes in the fall.  This little bracelet and pair of earrings aren’t even scratching the surface of what my heart and soul long for.  So my general rule of thumb is: Plan what you want to wear, take it down 200 notches.

This skirt is a sneaky little number because it came equipped with a pair of shorts underneath. I’m not sure if it would still be classified as a “skort” since it is actually a full skirt that just so happens to have a pair of shorts attached, but either way, it makes me feel secure enough to do cartwheels in the front office if I’m so inclined (and maybe if I could actually do a cartwheel, I would be).  My boss had a few things to say about this look.  A small part of me was wondering if he was trying to gather courage to tell me my skirt was too short, but couldn’t quite do it.  We discussed my hair, skorts (which he totally knew what they were) and we (and by we, I mean he) even talked about his wife’s weight fluctuations in regards to all of her clothes.  I feel like I’m about to get in Huge Trouble for posting this. I can’t decide if this is sounding creepier than it actually was or not creepy enough.  I believe I would use the term, “strange” as opposed to creepy, because I know he’s not “like that.”  What I do know is, I get paid to have these conversations.  Wait, that didn’t come out right either.  I mean, he doesn’t pay me, the university does.  Never mind.  Disclaimer time:

I never know exactly who my readers are.  This was originally intended just to be for family and friends and a fun way to help keep myself accountable for a year and I write with only those things in mind.  I’m always shocked when I run into an acquaintance or hear from someone random that they read my blog.  Let’s just hope my boss is never one of them. 

Picnic Ready (Day 134)

Inspiration: Too Much Fun dress by Emily and Fin (ModCloth)

I only discovered ModCloth in the last year or two.  I know, I know, where have I been all my life? (actually I have no idea how long they’ve been around)  But one look at the prices of some of those dresses (not to mention the length…standard length seems to be about 34″, which hits me on my upper thigh…yeah, no) and I was suddenly inspired to sew.  I think I’ve mentioned that my mom used to sew a lot of my clothes, and pretty much all of my dresses, right up until I went to college.  So last summer I thought to myself, “Self, how hard can it be?”

I had my mom come to the fabric store with me and we picked several patterns that had a few of the lines I wanted and I chose a cute gingham and strawberry print fabric for my first dress.  There were a few modifications we made to the pattern (I wanted a dropped shoulder with some gathering at the seam) and we were sure we could knock it out in an afternoon.  Let’s just say that between my mom being a little rusty and me not having a clue, it was a wee bit of a disaster.  The bodice fit all kinds of wrong. Suddenly I found myself with a 75 year old drooping bosom (but hey, boobs are boobs am I right? Awkward…).  The armholes were also in the wrong spot, but we kind of reached the point where I contemplated arm reassignment surgery just so the thing would fit.  But that’s expensive, not to mention the recovery time, so we decided instead to completely take it apart (the dress, not my arms) and here she be:

Dress: Handmade  Cardi: Ross  Shoes: Ross  Headband: Target

I still have a stack of fabric and patterns with other great ModCloth inspired ideas waiting patiently for me to try again.  We’ll see about that.